Marshall Mathers on the wrong plane
He doesn’t know yet they all look the same
On the concourse after the landing on
To the shuttle where a train is leaving

For the former home of a young Rick Male
Easy mistake chasing your tail
Puts in a call to his managers office
But the phone is dead and the entourage are muppets

Hops on a train a real bone shaker
In a black and gold hoodie with the melody maker
Back in print for the sake of the song
He’s on his own now the entourage gone

Security man nowhere to be seen
Is every celebrity’s bad dream
An angry commuter catches his eye
Mouths across the carriage man you’re gonna die

In Detroitwich

On the Lickey incline due south
Through the grove and into the deepest dark heart of rural Worcestershire…

Jumps off train on to the embankment
Chased by a gang from the anti establishment
One of them shouts leave or remain?
They hand cuff him and take him away

In a Robin Reliant three wheeler classic
To a cold store facility its brassic…
No, this isn’t a video shoot
There are the plans and we’re gonna execute in


They put a sack over his head
It’s like the night of the living dead
They look like extras in the Wicker Man
Steel a blowtorch from a caravan

Just then a man with a trebly hat and Good Samaritan hair
Offers to do the decent thing and finish him off right there
For the millionaire rapper who sampled Chas n Dave
This aint no party this aint no rave

It’s Detroitwich

Eminem is feeling the heat
They light the bonfire under his feet
He starts rapping the Lord’s Prayer
Local girls throw their underwear

Just when he thinks his time has come
P Diddy shows up shows up in car with a gun
Says OK motherfucker’s you’ve had your fun
Then he grabs Eminem and then they are gone…

To a Pub called the Swan on the A38
It’s where everyone goes when they need to escape…


Eminem & P Diddy arrive at the Swan just after closing time, and Diddy hands over the gun, to Dave the landlord who supplies them with airline tickets business class, and replacement phones in exchange for their watches and their rings…

The beleaguered Rappers, alone in the rural wilderness freely give up their possessions in exchange for away out…

Of Detroitwich

Perhaps we’re in France or maybe Korea
We just have to get out of here…


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