Confessions of a Sperm Donor

I used to be a feminist I used to be a freak
Sold my sperm for bus fareI got £15 a week
The jobs as good as yours she said your numbers on the pot
Just abstain the night before and bring us every drop
But don’t expect a helping hand cause we’re strictly DIY
T here’s a pile of magazines next door you’re most welcome to try
We freeze it in a cryostat and you sign your name right here
It’s a brave new world out there she said for a genetic engineer

Sperm Donor

Production and delivery became the weekly norm
I held the pot under my arm to keep the sample warm
In the art of masturbation I truly excelled until
I broke the night before rule once again and got expelledAnd sometimes in my darker moments I imagine successes
Kids grown up and questioning paternal second guesses
Campaigning on the TV for the records and the access
With Kilroy finger pointing stage-managing the masses

Sperm Donor…
Money for old rope
It’s funny but it’s no joke
Blood test DNA
Get away

So if you’ve been affected by the issues in this song
I don’t have any answers there is no right from wrong
But should you track me down here then I’m certain come what may
I could never be your father nor could I ever turn you away
No matter where you got your genes or the colours in your hair
There’s a place for you in this world we can never share
And if I’m the one who gave you life by some proximity
I just hope to god you haven’t turned out anything like me…

Sperm Donor
Money for old rope
It’s funny but it’s no joke
Blood test DNA
Get away….

I used to be a feminist I used to be a freak



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VINNY PECULIAR